Sunday, September 16, 2012

Reboot: Preamble

     Well boys and girls, by popular demand, I've decided to blog about the horror I've decided to put myself through. I want all of you to consider, if you will, that I am going to go into the intimate details of what this does to my body. Know this, and consider the course of the rest of your life. Know that you cannot un-know the things I will say here. Think of your children, deprived of the glow in their parent's eyes, knowing that they have seen too much. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

      Alright, well since you obviously hold no love for your families, let's soldier on. I watched a film about 6 weeks ago called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead." It's about a man with an autoimmune disease, who decides to switch to a liquid diet of fruits and vegetables only. It's called the Reboot system, and it's designed around the idea that the human body evolved around naturally occurring vitamins and minerals, and it will function optimally while taking those in. He put mixes of fruits and vegetables into a juicer (not a smoothie), and sustains off of that and water. All in all, it's brilliantly made. It lays out the process in plain language, and their website is great. It's a free community of people and nutritionists making sure that they do it right. The recipes are pretty legit.

     I've been feeling pretty bad about my weight lately, as I've consistently gained weight since I got my current job last year. I sit in a cubicle all day, the most active thing I do is walk into the break room. This Reboot seemed like a really cool chance to start making a lifestyle change. My intention is to continue even after the Reboot by doing this for lunch every day at work. I get all my food groups, and it keeps me from sitting there long enough to decide that Solo must be encased in carbonite.

     So we all probably remember when I did the uncooked fruit and vegetable cleanse I did about a month ago. I did it for 3 days, which is among the more intense experiences of my life. I felt physically good, with the exception of shitting my goddamn colon out the first 2 days straight. We're not talking "gee wiz, I really need to head to the boys room right now," it was more along the lines of "SWEET TAPDANCING JESUS CHRIST, OUTTA MY WAY OR I'LL DUCE IN MY PANTS." The flip side was, my appetite after that point was virtually non-existant. I could barely get through 2 PB&Js without feeling absolutely stuffed. It was a rough process, but overall I loved it.

     The overall goal was eventually to try the full Reboot. I got myself a juicer, and it's about to go down. I will be Rebooting from Sunday to Sunday, a full week of a liquid diet. I'm excited, and most of you are as well. There has always been something about my suffering that has brought a great deal of joy to others, which I deserve. I meant to begin documenting this process yesterday evening, but I realized there are far too many beers out there in the world, and it's about time someone started doing something about it (also it was a friend's birthday, happy early birthday Spence).

     I used yesterday as the beginning of the process, allowing myself a day to ease into the week. I did liquids for breakfast and lunch, but a solid dinner. This is one way to do a partial Reboot for people with more severe medical issues who cannot physically handle the Reboot without, you know, dying. I was surprised how filling the drink was, it really hit the spot and gave me consistent energy all day. Also the recipes that people have come up with are pretty darn good, and with a lot of fall vegetables available right now, I'm not having to forgo good food for health.

     I'm locked, stocked and ready to roll on this. I'll be updating each evening with my progress and any side effects I experience. Tune in later tonight for the Day 1 recap.

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